The Vulnerability Paradox (#950)
Even though a woman may want men to be more emotionally vulnerable, most find it terrifying when he does. She would rather see the man die on his white horse rather than watch him fall off that horse, according to researcher Brené Brown. It's a common paradox that also affects our view of friends and spiritual leaders. On the one hand, we want connection and yet the vulnerability it requires can be scary, both in being vulnerable and in seeing someone else be weaker than our illusion of them. Kyle and Wayne begin their conversation talking about learning to let God initiate our encounters and then talk about how vulnerability and our fear of it affects relationships. They conclude by discussing how our best growth opportunities come from struggle instead of expedience.
Podcast Notes:
- The video recording of this podcast.
- Men, Women and Worthiness: The Experience of Shame and the Power of Being Enough by Brené Brown
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Being vulnerable can be risky in any relationship- a chance for great growth, but the potential for great destruction. Unfortunately I lost my best friend for good early this year. I took a risk & opened up maybe too much & was badly betrayed & misunderstood. In hindsight i was too vulnerable with someone who wasn’t as safe as I thought. I am suffering great pain from this, but have learnt a very hard lesson about choosing wisely who to be vulnerable with.
Unfortunately, Jeremy, that is the risk of vulnerability, which is why people often feel like they have to travel alone through their struggle or pain. I’m so sorry you found out your best friend wasn’t who you thought he was. That he would take something entrusted to him and use it against you is one of the great sins of humanity. Finding out if someone is safe is really important. One of the ways of checking that out is looking for ways they treat others in my presence. If they are gossiping about others to me, they will most likely gossip about me to others. I pray God replaces this friend in your life with someone wonderfully kind who can treat your vulnerability as the precious treasure it is. You have my prayers.
Thanks Wayne
I know this episode is not about politics but as per your opening statement…I feel as though I am being asked to hold my nose and vote this fall. The alternative is to not vote but I don’t know if that is the right thing to do either. How do you maintain a good perspective and “not let your heart be troubled.” How do you hold onto the humanity of others in such a polarized season?
Hi Nancy. This is the dilemma isn’t it? I think this is a matter of conscience and we all need to follow as the Spirt leads us. But I don’t think not voting is wrong. When you have no one to vote for, not voting is a legitimate response. Here’s what I do in elections like that. If I have no one to vote for, I look to see if I think one candidate is more harmful than our country than the other. I cn vote that way, which as you say is a bit like holding your nose. If neither of the candidates from the major parties is better than the other, then I look for a candidate from one of the smaller parties and throw them my support. If I can’t do that in good conscience, then I usually write in one of my dogs. My no-vote is a statement that I’m discontent with the choices. I don’t believe in the pragmatism of a binary vote in which we have to vote for one of the major part candidates. That’s a false choice. At this point, I don’t think either candidate can provide what this country needs most. This choice is a sad commentary on the state of our Republic and the fact that no wise and kind person is in the running. I suspect that’s a flaw in our political system that continues to serve home horrendous choices and say we have to choose one.
What I do have hope in is that whoever wins the election, will only hasten the day of the Lord’s return, though that will be through some rough waters caused by our broken political system. Sometimes neither party deserves your vote. But that’s up to you and Jesus.
Thank you.