This Changes Everything Part 2 (#959)

5 Comments

1. I know that this is a sweeping generalisation and that there are exceptions, but I think that most women hearing this will be utterly baffled that this is considered something new. This relational justice, this thinking of others first out of love and care for them, of putting others first out of genuine love, of thinking how our actions and words impact others and treating them how we would want to be treated – it is so natural, ingrained in us as women, so basic and intuitive. It is completely foreign to us to think of ourselves and be selfish, instead of thinking of others. Other women I’ve spoken to about this confirm that we are constantly always thinking of others. Whereas male friends tell me that they rarely think of others and if someone isn’t “of use” to them or if someone doesn’t offer any gain or benefit to their lives, then they see no point in being friends with them. There’s no sense of just enjoyment of the other person and relationship with them, no intrinsic joy in sharing life with someone – open and unprompted sharing of their thoughts and feelings.

   I wonder if this is why most of the crimes in the world are committed by men. Is it so foreign for men to think of others and feel what the other person is feeling? No thinking of how their actions impact others? No natural feeling of putting others first and not wanting any hurt or harm to befall them?

   The reason we don’t do wrong, sin and hurt others isn’t because it’s the law but because of love. Love and shared feeling/empathy. We feel what the other is feeling and love them so why on earth would we ever want to hurt them?

   This relational justice is something that has been so natural and ingrained in our hearts for all our lives, it is strange to hear anyone thinking that this is new or novel.

   • Yes, it is true that women as a whole are more inclined to love and care for others. But in all honesty I have dealt with some extremely controlling and selfish women. I’ve also lived with a wife who over served others to her own harm, she would treat others way better than she treated herself, so I think we all can find some good things to grow in here. What’s new about this is not that Jesus wanted us to treat others like we want to be treated, or to put the concerns of others on par with our own. What’s new is the Scriptural lines to get there, especially for the piously “righteous”, or for those who think forgiveness and love is an excuse to keep treating others with injustice. The kingdom comes into the world not by doctrine, but by a company of men and women, learning to live justly in the world as they let the fullness of his love inside of them, express itself to others in kindness and generosity. Many evangelicals have missed that part. They can read their Bibles and pray every day as they cheat their business partners, betray their friends, and serve themselves. “Unless your sense of justice exceeds that of the Pharisees, you will not see the kingdom of God.” Conversion was meant to free us from the narcissistic flesh by the love of God so that we could live in the world with his compassion. I’m glad that comes more intuitively to you. For others, this is an amazing way to learn it.

2. The more I have been won into Father’s affection for me, the more I have naturally desired to act with love (justly) towards others. The more I have desired justice for them, be it family, neighbor, stranger, even enemy. The same can not be said for me about righteousness or moral piety. I have had zero desire to become more morally righteous. I don’t even really understand what it means apart from justice, how I treat others. It is the hypocricy of the pharisees that Jesus calls out time and again.

   Perhaps the damage done from replacing justice with righteousness is not only to make it easier for those in religious power to manipulate and control their followers but even worse it gives people who have performed the transaction and been declared righteous a free pass to treat others poorly. Which is much of what I see in the christian religion today. The religious right and moral majority see “them” as worthless, condemened “sinners”. The enemy really. And the blessed for success, name it and claim it use the their declared righteousness,”God’s favor”, in an attempt to get what they want and increase their wealth and standing in the world. It’s all self-serving and incredible injustice done in the name of Jesus.

   This conversation has put theological words and context to beliefs in my heart. It helps scripture align and opens it to new depths of truth. Thank you.

   • For me, too. This makes sense of so much Scripture we made more abstractly true than a daily reality we get to live in.

3. I appreciate your response Wayne, talking about the fact that many women can be controlling and use others as well. I grew up in a home with domestic violence against my mom, so I have first-hand experience with a man abusing his power against women. And as a counselor, I have seen many men/husbands who lie and cheat etc…. but I have also seen a number of women who are controlling and manipulating and use their husbands and others in the church. Also, while women are naturally more relational and more other-centered, it is not always true. And when it is true, it can become a false form of security before God, because God wired women to be more other-centered. So once again, we can take a gift from God and turn it into a false form of security in our standing before God, whether it is being ‘pious’ behavior, or having positions like the religious leaders who killed Christ…and/or looking at behavior that is more other-centered, even to the point of caring for others at the expense of healthy self-care. Learning to see more of the heart of God and His love that relentlessly pursues is in our brokenness, to pour His wholeness into our brokeness, is the key to justice…the key to treating others the way God has treated us.

Comments are closed.