The Traumatized Brain: (#846)
Emotional and verbal abuse as a young man caused Kyle to lock his heart into a deep bunker and guard it at all costs. It affected many of his relationships well into adulthood. He shares his journey with Wayne and how Jesus continued to knock on the door of his heart and invite him out of that bunker to find rich and rewarding connections with others. Unresolved trauma is epidemic in our culture and scientists have only recently discovered how it shapes the physiology of the brain and distorts its perception of circumstances and people. Learning about trauma will help us all find greater freedom in this life, whether it's for ourselves or others we love.
Podcast Notes:
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.
Try Softer by Aundi Kolber
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Hello again Kyle and Wayne…your conversation was so spot on to things Jesus is walking me through right now. Again …would love to chat personally…but these conversations we get to hear are “the next best thing”. Kyle your story resonates profoundly with me and my parents…really appreciate your sharing. Blessings, Sue
Sue you are very welcome. I told Wayne after we finished recording that I felt like there was still a lot of detail that got left out. I am excited for you and the journey Father is walking you through. His gracious process always amazes me. Blessings to you Sue!!
I put my children through a horrid divorce….they both have trauma as adults….i struggle with guilt. Thank you for this. I will pass this on to them…God bless you both.
Lori, please don’t waste another day to guilt; it’s not what Father needs or wants. He wants to invite you past the shame, even if you did make a mistake, to lead you into his life. Your children have the same option, to stay stuck in the pain of the past, or find a way to move beyond the chaos of the broken world we live in and find their life and joy in Jesus. I’m praying for you that you lean away from guilt and into the unfathomable love of God for you!
Thank you so much for endured a lot night to record this Wayne & Kyle. It was a life-ring in an extremely tumultuous ocean for me – trust there is a rope attached that will help haul me to safe haven. What your email address please Kylie?
I am not sure what Kylie’s email is ?. But Kyle Rice’s email is kylerice@me.com.
Both sides of my family experienced a lot of violence & hostility, going back 140 years and possibly a lot longer. By far the greatest amount of adverse trauma I’ve experienced has been in the form of the tragic misrepresentation of the nature of the Father that we all share. And unfortunately this all got worst when nearly 24 years ago at age 40 I began regular church attendance and being fed PSA Theory. I’ve been on a slow healing process for about the last 5 or 6 years and since experiencing The Shack, So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore, & leaving the Institutional Church environment. The Truth of God’s love heals trauma! Amen!
Oh my, did this ever hit home! All I ever wanted to do was to leave my childhood home and abusive dad behind. Unfortunately I jumped right into an abusive marriage, which compounded the trauma that I experienced. God has graciously been healing me over the years, but I know there is still growth to be had. Thank you so much, Kyle, for sharing your story. Please share more as I am sure that the details would be so helpful to all of us. God bless you as you pursue wholeness and healing.
Thanks Kyle and Wayne for your insights. Praise to Father God that his word can shine a light into the dark(unseen) places in our hearts that have been distorted by trauma, a tool used by satan to control and destroy lives. I am glad that you, Kyle, got insight into the fact you could not see the silo,s,but certainly experienced the painful results of their existence as we all do. This is why satan is called deceiver. I have been deceived for about 60 years as a result of sibling incest and the shame, guilt and fear that follow with no way to process these feelings or even put a name to them at such a young age of about 5 or 6 years. And yes these things effect your physiology. The psychological name for this is DTD, developmental trauma disorder which we believers know to be rooted in sin.
Kyle, thank you so much for sharing your story of trauma. Wayne, thank you so much for the questions and wisdom you added to the topic. It’s difficult to type my comment because it is hard to see through the tear-filled eyes.
I am crying because you touched some “tender places” and opened up some insights I had not considered in my own recovery. One, for instance, is my coping skill of “hiding under the bed”, running, and ghosting when I am experiencing something traumatic. My first experience with sexual abuse happened at the age of 12 and when the person would return to my bedroom on later nights, I learned to hide under the bed. He was my brother’s 14-year-old friend. I am 59 now. I don’t think he understood what he was doing to me. And my parents were of the absent type.
Returning to the first response to our first trauma later in our lives is something I had not considered as part of my co-dependent recovery. Also, the neurological effects that continue that behavior. I recently had an extremely traumatic experience with someone I was in a relationship with. I ran and I hid like a child instead of standing up like an adult and confronting it. In my defense, I was scared and it did involve psychological intimidation and physical abuse. And I was not dealing with a healthy individual (alcoholism). When the opportunity came to escape, I literally ran and left without a word, and “hid under the bed”.
I want to add the most important part of that whole experience. At one point during that multiple-day experience, I heard and felt the Father’s love and presence when the incident had me feeling the most completely alone I have ever felt in my entire life. That was traumatic! I remembered the scripture, “though I make my bed in hell, you are there” (paraphrased Psalm 139:8). I felt Him with me. He was there and standing beside me feeling my pain, crying with me through choices I had made that put me in that predicament. I wasn’t alone. I never understood that part of the scripture till that moment. He is with me through all of it. I will never forget that. That is something I now KNOW about my Father.
I am so tired of revisiting my childhood traumas. I have adult traumas to deal with, lol. I want to be done with it. But I guess it won’t be till it is all healed.
I really hope there will be more podcasts on this topic. I have been listening and reading about trauma a lot lately with the new information on what it does to our physical minds and bodies. Listening to your story today, Kyle, was Heaven sent. Thank you.
(From Wayne) I’m so blessed to hear how this touched you, Sharon, and so so sorry for the trauma you experienced at such a young age. There is no shame in this for you, and you were not responsible. You were the victim of a horrible crime, and to think that one in three young women deal with some form of sexual assault, makes my heart hurt so bad. I’m glad Jesus has put himself inside your trauma; that’s where the healing can really take root and pray he quickly sets you at rest in its place and gives you the grace to walk on free from that trauma. Thank you for sharing a bit of your story here. I know it will encourage others.
Kyle and I continue this discussion on the podcast coming this Friday. May it bring healing to many hearts, even those who are just coming to grips with the fact that there may be trauma in their past.