Glimpses of His Glory

11 Comments

1. Hey 🙂 Just finished listening to this, again so encouraged by seeing the way Father is weaving this whole story together – the minute-ness of my story interwoven with the huge-ness of so many other stories. How encouraging to see such a beautiful tapestry beginning to take shape. And like you said Wayne, this isn’t about what “should” be happening, but what is already so effortlessly falling into place. I love the mystery of the unfolding, and I loved what you said near the end, about hungering to live in a different reality. I’m sure that’s what was meant in the Lord’s Prayer – “Your kingdom come, Your will be done on earth as in heaven” – that we would simply bring the kingdom of God to earth in the way that we live, with our journey’s bringing us closer to living more like Jesus every day – nudge by nudge, circumstance by circumstance, as you said.
   Wayne, you referred to my email, and you said that in my situation of abuse that I would be “used to a God that would let horrible things happen to me if I neglect praying just the exact right words…” – you are so correct in that. It’s been said that your earthly father is your first understanding of God. My earthly father beat my mother and abandoned me. My stepfather sexually abused me while my mother turned a blind eye for years on end. My next stepfather beat me at my mother’s invitation, and that’s when I left home at 15. My understanding of my Heavenly Father, up until the last 12 months, has been built around the understandings I gleamed from my earthly fathers. And the funny thing is that even though I began going to church not long after I left home, I was never shown a true understanding of who the Father really is. Not in 15 years. But I was shown that I must forget my past because it made others uncomfortable, not look backwards, not talk about it with certain people around who may not understand, not be angry about what I’d been through, but instead serve God, generously and wholeheartedly, with a smile at all times so that no one would suspect the raging storm that was always use under the surface. What a joke – wholeheartedly?? My heart was dead and buried six feet under, and covered over with layer upon layer of heavy walls, nailed down in every corner for extra security. I had no heart, and I certainly wasn’t willing to give that up for a God who just wanted me to serve Him, after all that He’d put me through.
   But anyway, the point to this was that I left church because the Father was whispering love to me, in a way that was beginning to break through, and in a way that I never would have found if I’d stayed under that religious fog. I have finally found the Father I have always wanted, and His radical love transforms me like nothing I’d ever imagined.
   Which brings me to Stephanie’s letter, and how I too grappled with the “Ye of little faith” stuff. I used to get so angry at God, hearing sermons about what little trust Peter had. I would rage at Him inwardly “What do you WANT of me God??? I don’t have faith, I don’t have trust, I don’t have the ability for either, so does that mean I’ll never measure up?? That I’ll always fail in your eyes because of my lack of faith??” – now I see it so differently, and I no longer rage at a God I don’t understand. Instead, I hear Him speak to me with laughter in His voice as He says “Well of course you can’t trust me fully yet, and of course your faith is small. I know where you’ve come from, and I don’t expect you to walk on this water yet. Keep your eyes on me – hear my voice, and let my love guide you through the wind and waves, out of your fears, and into this place of calm and rest” – and I know His eyes twinkle when He says that, and I’m thankful for his infinite patience with me.
   Stunning, overwhelming, transforming glimpses of His glory 🙂

2. Yours is a very touching story Kathy and express the heart of our Father. He is a Father who is patient for sure and loves us tenderly and perfectly.

3. Wow, Kathy! Love how God has been showing you true fatherly love. I am touched how He transformed you through tremendous pain (and still does). It is interesting how He reveals Himself despite how religion forces you to suppress your pain and serve Him without really knowing Him. I am glad to hear how He is revealing himself to you and is not freaked out that you are not “perfect” or “pretty”. True Christianity isn’t pretty but the Father sure has a way of consoling those who mourn, giving beauty for ashes, oil of joy for mourning and a garment of praise for for a spirit of heaviness. (Isaiah 61:3) That is very evident in your comment. God continue to transform you day by day, filling you with His joy, as you rest in Him.

4. Sitting in the morning sun thanking God for the way He has and is using this blog and podcasts for us newbies out if the box. Familiar feels good at first but I am trusting the Father as my family and I continue on this journey of His love and relationships outside the systems and structures.

   Three years ago last week when we were given the holy handshake from people we thought we knew. It was hard walking away from the walls but today I have never been more sure of my faith.

   My marriage is the strongest it’s been in 20 years and my teenagers are healthy whole curious almost adults who have now seen what religion vs relationships can do.

   Thank you Wayne and all who participate in these on going conversations. They are what this Jesus loving Father following girl needs so I don’t run back to the box familiarity.

   Kathy and Tina praying for you both, as I read your posts all I felt in my bones was courage. I am inspired and encouraged by you both, one for your willingness to be transparent and the other your gentle words of encouragement.

   Have a beautiful today
   Cristina.

5. Wayne – loved the conversation about CHRIST/Peter out of the boat. How you said that sometimes Father says difficult things to you, but there is a ‘twinkle’ in His eye. This is from one of my favorite books called: “GOD Is No Fool” by Lois A. Cheney:

   twenty-four
   One of the exciting things about striving to become a Christian is that you never know when and where you’re going to take a step closer to CHRIST.

   A step may take weeks, even years, and then sometimes it almost comes in an instant. Sometimes it follows devoted prayer; sometimes it follows intense meditation. Sometimes it follows a period of reverent Bible study. Other times the step follows respectful communication between Christians. But, you never really know when and where it is going to occur.

   I was born with a need to laugh.
   Laughter cleanses me; laughter settles me;
   It stimulates me; and it fills me. I was born with a capacity for laughter.

   One day, I had a ‘laughing’ day.
   Everything was a straight line…
   Every situation had its funny side…
   All day I poked, and teased, and giggled, and laughed…
   And I had to work diligently to interrupt my laughing day with periods of more serious work.
   but even they got jostled with humor,
   And I didn’t care.

   I met laughing people that day…
   People who giggled and reacted and joked.
   I looked into laughing eyes and a laughing face,
   And my heart was warmed and my soul swelled
   both giggling as they did so.
   Eventually, of course,
   things calmed down;
   they always do.

   In the dark of night,
   In the quiet of prayer,
   I saw CHRIST –

   And His eyes were red with tears,
   And I felt sick,
   And I looked and looked at Him,
   At His tear-reddened face

   And I think I saw Him squint
   And I saw that the tears were
   tears of laughter.

   And His eyes danced and twinkled,
   And softly,
   And almost impiously,
   He chuckled.

   And that night I took a step
   Toward the CHRIST
   And I loved Him as I never had
   Before.
   And I would follow Him
   Anywhere!

   And I, pamela, say: ‘YES!!!”

6. hey Wayne and others…. Wayne when you said God pains when we let an opportunity slip away….. in what way did you mean he pains? My understanding is, God has not applied pressure to us. so he knows something ahead of time that in these times of missing opportunities he is still with us and these opportunities will always rise again. His patience is far beyond what we can grasp sometimes. In saying that,what other opportunity would god give other than knowing his love and keep on passisting on telling us everything is okay. I couldnt imagine my father paining over a missed opportunity unless he knows something drastic (if you like) is gonna happen.

   I will ad, I sensed if I were to put myself in those shoes I would feel like the opportunity for life was missed and never again will I have an opportunity for it. In this God will teach us his patience and will guide us to our rest in him, one thing that I will always.know about my father is that he passist on telling us “don’t worry we have plenty of time to work on your faith but in themean time relax and know I am your father that loves you more than you know . just some thoughts and what’s been goin on with me
   cheers

7. my apologies Wayne I miss understood what you were saying I went back on it and understood haha oh dear a terrible place to.be right now but all is good. if anything I am agreeing with you…… once again my apologies 🙂 cheers

   Phil 🙂

8. Hi Phil. Regretfully I have no idea what you’re referring to, so can’t respond with much. However, I couldn’t be think-skinned and do what I do, or let people openly comment in so many of the venues I’m a part of. And I’m fine when people disagree with me, wether it’s because they don’t get it yet, or because I don’t, because speaking honestly in love is how we grow and eventually discover what truth is… Blessings on you.

9. OK, now I saw your earlier post in the moderation queue as it appears now. I’m glad you sorted that out. I will add this. I don’t think God’s “pain” whatever it is is over opportunity lost, so much as it is how our continued selfishness causes ripples of hurt in other people’s lives around us. Our choices often have unintended consequences for ourselves and others that I think cause God’s grieving, as I grieve at times when my kids or grandkids make choices that are hurtful to others. It isn’t condemning, and it isn’t without hope that things can yet be repaired and lessons learned. I think that’s what Paul meant when he talked about grieving the Holy Spirit. I’ve heard people make more of that than I think that’s there, but I have done things or said things and then sense that the impact of what I had done caused a grieving in God that I could sense and that caused me to back up and own my actions and seek to resolve the consequences with others it impacted. No guilt or condemnation in that, just the opportunity to learn, grow, and help undo the damage in whatever way I could. I actually love that part of my relationship with God, not fear it. It allows me to know that there’s not only delight in him for who I am, there’s also concern what the sometimes stupid things I do… 😉

10. I understand you COMPLETELY . God will continue with grace and mercy and he will always stay beside us. The love that he shows through grieving, I thank him for allowing himself to feel pain over me, if he did not grieve then he does not love. I have found myself praying more now than I do grieve because I know his grace will poor out onto those who most utterly need it and tend to walk astray in there selfishness. Im not missing many opportunities anymore because I have allowed myself to remain open to him.The ones he knows will come through he will passist.

    if it were any encouragement to any one I would say hang in there he knows something you don’t haha.:-) and that’s a good thing !!

    aaannyway don’t want to carry on to much 🙂

    catchya later

    cheers

11. Thanks everyone…again although I’m more of a “verbal processor”…it’s so encouraging/helpful to read what others have shared about their learning to walk in grace. This is so much about a very different picture of Father emerging….rather than the One who is always angry and critical…to see His patience, His infinite wisdom to take care of injustice in his time and in His way. I am walking all of this out so my heart resonates with so much of this “e” conversation. I do long to be more like Him and I’m grateful that this is the work Jesus does rather than my own efforts. Blessings.

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